Monday, November 30, 2009

Never stop loving

Dear diary,

So unhappy today. It's suppose to be 1 year for me and him tomorrow. =) Suppose.

There's no water today, yesterday, and two days ago. They've cut off the water supply to our room, and left us with the big tank. No lights once it gets dark under my block, and the roads are creepy at night.

I fell down two nights ago coming down from the stairs, cause it was so dark i can't see a thing. 

Just now while i was bathing with my roommate at the big tank, we heard guy's laughter. It was weird and creepy, cause no guys are suppose to be in our block area? And i was shampooing in my bra.

I cried myself to sleep last night. And i woke up today feeling like crap, without any distinct memory of snoozing my alarm till i'm almost late. It was weird last night, because i keep thinking about things that makes me happy, like chocolates. And almost fell asleep. Though the pain was really throbbing in me.

Then i got up and pray, and i couldn't stop crying till i sleep. Phew.

What hurts more than the truth, is the realization of it. Realizing, where it just strikes you. And you feel the agony deep within. Why get yourself involve with guys in the very first place, irene? Don't mess with love if you can't take the pain.


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Cam whore is fun.

I learned that if i've got fairer skin, i'd probably be happier. =D

Web cam whoring day.

What i've learned. Not just my own experiences here mind you.

Lesson #1 : Don't do it in public. Oh my goodness. Just don't. Especially if you're alone.

Lesson #2 : Make sure that no one you wanna impress is looking. Like your boyfriend's grandma. Or your boss.

Lesson #3 : Assure yourself that 20 shots and still not one seems nice enough, it's not your fault. Go on with it.

Lesson #4 :  It gets tiring after awhile. Rest, brush your hair and start over.

Lesson #5 : Don't turn on the shutter sound when you're doing it in the toilet. It stirs curiosity. Not the nice kind.

Lesson #6 : If you're using your friend's phone, transfer the files to your phone when you're done and delete the ones on his/her phone. What the fuck is wrong with you. I don't want 50 shots of your face in various adjusted angles.

(Unless you're snapping some kinky shots on your bf's phone and you want him to think of you when he *ahem*, go ahead.)

Lesson #7 : If you're snapping private parts of your body for your own pleasure, please keep your phone with you all the time. If you wanna send them out cause you're really proud (hahaha .. right .. ) then don't throw a fit when your mum ask you what's your picture doing on Gutter Uncensored.

Anyway! I took like 30 shots, and i only found a few that i like. Crap, i suck. How did those girls on Facebook manage to have a whole album with 200 self shots pictures?  

first favorite!



ouuhh, maths is so hard. someone hold me. 

okay, cute probably don't work for me.

  i know you wanna ..

And just one slutty one. =D

Not bad hor. Last time i use to take and give up. Take and give up. Since i'm stuck here and i've got nothing to do, i'll take up cam whoring! Yoohooo!

Here's one i took long time ago. Not bad for a start eh?

Yeah. Fuck you.

*nom nom nom*  (munches on a dead guy's arm)

No, i don't think i have a problem.

*smiles sweetly with a twinkle in my eye* ;)

No that's not a wink you stupid.

Monday, November 23, 2009


Hi, everybody.

Meet Chee Ping. He studies in UK, likes to dream, write poems and artsy fancy stuff. He's studying some really tough subject that i don't like. Probably engineering or something, don't remember. Physics perhaps? Or does it have something to do with the human body.

Honestly, i think he'll be suitable studying psychology.

He motivates people greatly, but sometimes he gets depress himself. He has a blog, and his father reads it. Something i just learned.

Anyway, this reminds me greatly of him. And i picked it up from his blog.

Bet you all like him already. Don't cha? I know i do.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

One gruesome moment

Dear Lord,

They called me spoilt, a bimbo and a big lie,
But X-Files said the truth will set me free,

Or was it the bible, i can't remember.

You said to persevere when people mock,
But you know it's so hard to not give one fuck.

One fuck about him, just one. No?

You know my strength, i appear so strong,
You know my nights, the pain the sting.

I want to pray, but the tears the scorns?
Then devil called me, and oh it worsens.

To play along and lie to win,
To put him down and give him pain.

And yet another night when i sleep,
I wonder why my phone still don't bleep.

Where's the apology, where's the sorry,
Where's the i'm bad, i suck, please don't leave me.

It's never heard of, because he won.

I let him think,
That i don't deserve a thing.

Oh at least i still have the peace,
The clean conscious that lies in me.

You've always bestowed two fucks about me,
Listening, strengthening and walking by me. 
And i'm glad about the devil's call i missed,
This nightmare this pain is not to be missed.


Dove shampoo

Yawn ..

Went to the English church service today, Saturday night, 1930. Prefer it over the usual Sunday dawn service, at 0730. Because i have to get up at 0600. It's almost ungodly. Yes it's still dawn to me at 0730. What's YOUR problem instead. Go get a life.

Last night, there's no current. When i'm sleeping.

So motherfucking hot. I got up in a blur and fumbled with the power box thingy. No luck.

Went back to sleep. Because i have to get up in a few hours for Japanese.

Slept during Japanese, friend name Fei kept trying to wake me up. But to no avail. It's 4 bloody hours. Poke la, pinch la, slap la. 20 seconds later i'm down again.

This Japanese is killing me, first by swallowing my extra 2 weeks of civilization in Subang, next by digesting my morning sleep. You know the awesome feeling just to snooze?

Oh. I just bought Dove shampoo. Nice.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Arts, ruined.

What pisses me more than anything about my University is their lack of appreciation for art. I felt so dumbfounded today when i flipped through the monthly subscription of National Geography magazines in my library today. These librarians are obviously too blinded by the guidelines of their religion that they acted in such a crude, unsophisticated manner. Your religion, doesn't and shouldn't affect the non followers in any way. If this is too much for your viewings, then you should probably just label it as untouchable for your kind.

You lame assholes. These are arts. And you paid to subscribe it. And National Geography paid to include these rare photos in their magazines, for your knowledge, for your viewing. Not for a wank off moment if that is what you think of every time you see a pair of boobs.

So much so that you have to use black marker pens to ruin such rare photos and arts. 

And the fact that female artists who wants to perform in Malaysia are better off performing with t-shirt and black pants.

It's so obvious who are the ones who need help. And who are the ones seeding curiosity in their offspring. Still don't know where will over loaded curiosity get you eh?

Oh. I love sausages. So unhealthy, but nice. Like when they deep fry it? Yum.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

One and only


Happy birthday!

I've got no picture of us together, probably because we're so vain that every single time we manage to capture a shot together, it's either you're too ugly, or i look fat, or the angle's not right or i'm caught holding a stick.


I love you just so much. For being there, in Australia.

I mean.

For being there when i need you, and constantly reminding me that i don't need a man. And that there is no point being upset over them and their stupid behavior. And all that crap about man. And helping me think of ways to lie to my mum. And telling me i'm hot even though i know i'm not.

And just being a nicest friend ever.

Known you since i'm Form 1. And there was a strong love and hate feeling i have towards you. Mostly hate.


We hated each other. And i still remember vividly, that you told me to roll my big boobs off when it was time to go home.

Remember remember?

Now that i think of it, that don't even make sense.

I'm glad that you've found billy, and that you're doing well and happy there.

Pretty upset that you don't stay near me anymore, but on the bright side once you learn how to drive you can drive me around.


Once more, happy birthday. Be a good girl, and pray every night. As i always do for you. =)

Interesting - Of cultural borrowing

Just some crap i'm learning. Kindda like this paragraph.

Consider, for example, American (U.S.) culture and a typical U.S. citizen, who begins breakfast with an orange from the eastern Mediterranean, a cantaloupe from Persia, or perhaps a piece of African watermelon. After the fruits and her first coffee, she goes on to waffles, cakes made by a Scandinavian technique from wheat domesticated in Asia Minor. Over these she pours maple syrup, invented by the Indians of the eastern U.S. woodlands. As a side dish, she may have the eggs of a species of bird domesticated in Indochina or thin strips of the flesh of an animal domesticated in eastern Asia that has been salted and smoked by a process developed in northern Europe. While eating, she reads the news of the day, imprinted in characters invented by the ancient Semites upon a material invented in china by a process also invented in China. As she absorbs the accounts of foreign troubles, she will, if she is a good conservative citizen, thank a Hebrew deity in an Indo-European language that she is 100 percent American.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Don't elope with the time. There ain't enough time to be eloped.

I still have many more to go. In terms of exam i mean.

International Marketing. Just found out from my seniors that my lecturer's tips are those that are not coming out in the finals. Great.

Consumer Behaviour. 7 chapters of pure theory and shit.

Business Communication. Guide to writing email, resumes, memos, reports. 4 chapters nia. But if don't study still will die, right.

Japanese. Elope. What's elope you say? Elope means fuck.

Science and Quantitative. Should be able to procrastinate.

Business Statistics. *pulls hair* Chapter 5 to 12. I hate this so much.

Entrepreneurship. Done and over. I hate the lecturer. Ms. Raihana. So wannabe Rihanna. Okay, i'm bummed. I just don't like her. Not even one single tiny bit. I think she should just stay at home and rot instead of spread knowledge. What kind of shit knowledge can you get from a lecturer who doesn't use spell check for her slides and talks constantly about how great she is. Bull. Elope off.

I just post in facebook my view of no.1 rule to studying.

Now, let the last minute late night restless crash course study mad procrastination effect whole shebang began.

All the suay, go away.

Hehe. It rhymes.

Last piece of advice,

Don't elope with the time. There ain't enough time to be eloped.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


Good thing about Labuan is, I'm having a can of cold beer as i'm studying my business stat.

Want some? 
 Not bad eh?

Words are lie, love is pain, cheat is fun and we are gone

Do you know anyone who's cheating? Because i do. I know a lot in fact, but i don't spill. Or when that someone is flirting outrageously, i don't spill. Is that the reason why it is happening to me? That nobody tells me about the many flings that he have =)

Sure i flirt, sure i do much worse thing. But i conceal it nicely so you won't get hurt. Or when people sees it, they don't pity you.

It's funny how the world changes, how did you change, how did i change. What has become of us, or the guy i use to know. The girl you used to know. The love we thought we had.

I guess words are lies, love is pain, cheat is fun and we are gone.

p/s: i'm not saying i'm right. I'm a flirt too. But spare me some, because i don't boast about it.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Vincent Chua Wen Sherng

Dear Vince,

Be strong, and happy.


I know i look shit ugly. But we were both high. Haha.