Sunday, April 5, 2015

Forevermore, maybe.

"I asked God for an angle, He sent me you".

Couldn't help but to chuckle when I saw this line as I rummaged through my old love letters today. It's been more than a decade, yellow lines formed along the crease of the papers that were once folded neatly. Small enough to be tucked into a wallet or between text books. Angle. Haha.

Then I found 2 more, dated 2011 to 2012. "You are the one, I know it is you. I will love you forever and ever and ever. And bring back lots of money to make everything sweeter", it read. The handwriting was ugly, yet sincere it seemed.

As I read on, I wonder about how vague relationships can be. For a moment, it was love forevermore. And then people turn into strangers. For all the souls out there enduring relationships, one after another, searching for that 'forevermore', does it still hurt when it becomes 'maybe not' ? For me, it does.

"Happy birthday. Love forever, xoxo."

So many of them - old birthday cards, valentines, sweet surprises, anniversaries and more love letters. I tucked them away neatly again, but this time into a big plastic bag. I don't feel betrayed or hurt, I just find them to be taking up too many space. Maybe this is the part where you know you're not bothered anymore, not even for old time's sake.

It was a calm day, drizzles and wind. The best thing about falling down, is picking yourself up. A step, a crawl, or maybe just one deep breath. Move on, be strong. And never forget to love yourself, forevermore.