Thursday, January 28, 2010

I miss home

It's the feeling of holding the umbrella under the rain and strolling back to my room after a meeting.

It's the feeling of kneeling down searching for my keys in my bag outside my locked door because the books are too heavy.

It is running your hands on the dirty wall to find the switch when the room is pitch dark.

It is looking at the light hopelessly when it just wouldn't switch on.

It is peeling your own bed sheet for laundry at a laundry shop, paying RM4.00 to the aunty when it's done. 

It's that awful worry about what is for dinner every night.

It's that wonder about how many more instant noodles could i still survive on.

It's that crap about forgetting to wash your last pair of clean socks when you wanna wear sneakers to class.

It's the drag of bringing myself to the clinic with bus no.4.

It's the squatting down at the great public water tank while scrubbing my lingerie and formal clothes.

It's the nights you go out without a curfew and you feel awesome till you miss a place to return to when the party is over.

It's the pressure of dividing your money to books, food, leisure and squinting when you see that pair of nice heels.

It is lying down and wondering what are your friends doing, back in the place where people cared.

It is buying your own pad, and actually pausing to consider the price and the pieces before throwing them into your basket.

It is an ultimate hole that cannot be filled, till you step down from the plane and inhale that KL polluted air.